Tuesday, February 22, 2011

secret solved

so it seems i am definitely NOT the only one who experiences the slow decline in excitement of a new venture. and it also seems like with most of us, i have found the answer to my own question... or rather have known the answer all along.
anything worth doing in life is not only worth doing well but worth the effort and CONSISTENCY of continuing to make happen.  
Consistency is key... to most things in life. and as my wise father once said, 'the right thing is usually the harder thing, otherwise everyone would be doing the right thing'. so true so true. (side note: for all parents i highly suggest the book "do hard things" by Alex and Brett Harris is AWESOME).
when we follow those 'feelings' of excitement like i was questioning last night.. a lot of good things in life will get left behind. our feelings fail us, time and time again and as we all know they can change in the matter of a second. you could be having an awful day and someone can come along and say an encouraging word, surprise you with an unexpected gift, and then all of a sudden your awful day went to surprisingly wonderful.  
a rather drastic example of this that i've shared time and time again, especially when our young adults group, past and present, have been hitting on the topic of relationships is this...
over the past 7 years joe and i have been married we've unfortunately watched the ol' divorce statistic reign true. we've sadly had to sit by and witness many friends and family go thru the rough emotional road to divorce. when diving into deep conversation with some of those individuals on the 'why, what happened' i found there to be a consistent response in several, "i love them but i'm not IN LOVE with them anymore". wow. when further questioning what "in love" meant to each i heard again in numerous ones, "you know, that butterfly feeling, those sparks, they're just not there" even further some said "i'm just not excited each night to see them walk thru the door". FEELINGS dictating a future that could have been SO different. 
something i would admit to not only our young adults group but to those individuals walking thru that hard decision of divorce was/is this, "well what you described would mean i'm not IN LOVE with joe"! lol you may be thinking 'what how could you say that' but hear me out. i love joe, i CHOOSE to love him daily. no sparks don't fly everyday to where i'm on the edge of my seat anticipating him walking thru the door, or have those anxious butterflies stirring around in my stomach each evening as i know we're about to sit down and chat about our day, and i can vouch for him in that he would say the same. sure we have our moments, when we're setting out kid-free on a date or planning a nice weekend away, or even when i see him ministering to the hearts of others (his true calling), or times when he's playing or having a conversation with our three year old that just makes me smile, those are the Sparks Fly moments that remind me of the many reasons i CHOOSE to love him daily. i mean after all, when you grow older with someone you also grow more comfortable. even though they surprise you from time to time, it's the comfortable knowing them better than anyone else feeling that gets you thru all the typical normal long drawn out days that we experience. 
so i guess i said all that to say this, FEELINGS should not dictate our future. feelings should not dictate whether or not we continue hitting the gym, waking before dawn to pray and seek out God, smile to a stranger when we pass by, study for that exam we need to pass full of questions we are sure are never going to affect our future. 
CHOOSING to be CONSISTENT with things we Know and Find to be important and life changing, now that's the thing that makes all the difference!

1 comment:

  1. I LOVE this! Dave and I have had this same conversation with people as well. It is hard to watch people around us become "statistics" and I agree, Loving someone is a daily choice. I like though the tie in to feelings about the gym, etc. Ugh. Needed to hear that today!