Sunday, April 10, 2011

me... a walking contradiction!?!

brace yourself... this could be a long one! 
'contradiction' according to says 'act of denying; assertion of the contrary or opposite; direct opposition between things compared'. Guess that sounds about right, but i'd prefer a more pleasant phrase like 'finding ones self' or 'a work in progress' or even 'learning as i go'. however you package it up though it all boils down to this... there are SO many areas/things in my life that are just that, contradictions. so i've decided to be Real and share a few.. or a lot, depending on how long my son allows me to sit at my laptop, lol. so here's a list in no special order of areas in my life where i've found, or am finding myself to be just that... a Walking Contradiction.

city girl at heart?
enjoying life among the amish? really?

i've always said 'I'd love to live in the city', hop in an elevator leaving my apartment to pop out on the street where i could Walk just about anywhere and have almost anything at my disposal, be it a quaint artsy coffeehouse a great boutique, whatever, just the thought of not having to rely on a car for transportation is a nice idea... or is it? 
contradiction numero uno - i cried on our way home from NYC yrs ago thinking we may actually be moving north for my husband to finish bible college!?? that didn't happen... but what did? another contradiction. we moved from a tight, house side-by-side neighborhood still in what's considered to be a more rural county to an EVEN MORE country area (where i said i would NEVER move to) & now live among the Amish... BUT.... I'm actually Enjoying it!?! who-da thunk? NOT I said the fly!!!
and since i'm on the subject of 'places'...
beach LOVER...
turned Blue Ridge Mountain Adorer!
when selecting a college years ago i always thought i'd prefer to be near a beach or some sort of beautiful body of water.. if not in the city!lol - however when i found James Madison Univ nestled among the blue ridge mountains i had no doubt That was the place for me??  again i found myself falling in love with the ol' small town of harrisonburg VA and honestly it wouldn't take much convincing if someone said 'you're moving back' =)
moving on...

numero dos - FOOD. 

a couple years ago i found myself on a health search (out of necessity for loved ones suffering w/ ailments later turning to personal necessity). spending countless hours reading and devouring books and information on anything pertaining to 'how food affects our health'. i was amazed at what i found! God really did create our bodies to heal and sustain themselves and Food Really Is a Powerful Weapon. contradiction... this morning after eating a nice bowl of oatmeal, grapefruit and some almonds i later found myself finishing off a couple bites of my son's toaster strudel! OMGosh i know. it goes against everything i know to even Have those things in my house much less voluntarily feeding them to my son =( and then partaking in a few bites myself?? i could blame it on pregnancy, i could blame it on going coupon crazy (which has me buying things i shouldn't b/c i can get them so cheap and i know joe & drew like them), i could blame it on others who told me over and over i was being too health food crazy, but what it really boils down to is my own lazy attitude these days =( and in no way am i happy about it. i much rather be 'crazy' and feel good then fulfill a craving and feel yuck about myself after (literally and physically). so i just need to STOP i know... along with a good Kick in the Butt, yeah that'd help too!

next... All dogs MUST go to heaven in my book!
my first 'baby' JAX
growing up i was a CAT person who never really cared for dogs. dogs to me were more intimidating, belonged outside, and smelt bad most of the time. lol. if you would have told me i'd grow up and voluntarily adopt a big hairy beast and love him to pcs i would have laughed and again said, never! needless to say times have changed! after marrying joe (who not only dislikes cats but is conveniently allergic-lol) i realized this girl needed some kind of animal around. after all i grew up Always having pets, either indoors or out. so one day i told joe i was going to the animal shelter and bringing home a dog. joe thought 'oh great she'll come back with a tiny little squeaker she can dress up'! boy was he surprised when he walked in on this 70+ lab/retriever mix of sorts! and that dog did it for me, i was instantly in love and have never turned back. cats... now i'm the one that can do without!?!
i later had to adopt Abby FOR Jax.. he needed a pal =)

now i'm going to move quickly thru several more contradictions... otherwise i'll be here even longer than I want to be...

athletic i am NOT - however i would love to be considered that?! is it too late? lol. seriously though i can make a bball shot (standing still while not being blocked) so really i can play a mean game of Horse on the court and kickball isn't too much of a struggle, but beyond that those near and dear would laugh at this statement (please don't laugh too hard)! now having a son and another on the way i do hope (need to be determined) to be able to 'get out there and throw a football around' -just throw though - being tackled to the ground will never be my thing!

i LOVE to read and do read, several books at one time (see old post on 'from Dr. Seuss to the Holy Bible) but i must admit i don't finish them all. i want to.. usually, but i guess when it comes to books i can get a little ADD and jump around a bit, planning to return at a later date but not always doing so. 

a girly girl?? not really. i may give off that appearance b/c i never leave home without make-up (and never intend to unless deemed a nec. emergency) but really i'm not what others would categorize by definition as such. i'm not typically emotional, not mushy and romantic (although that one i'd kinda like to be-and i believe my husband would as well-lol) not the real sensitive by nature type. now don't get me wrong i have friends i love dearly who are all those things and i honestly think those are great qualities so i'm not trying to come across as if it's a negative, just trying to reflect how some may meet me and assume such, and some who even know me a bit may still assume such, hence the 'Walking Contradiction', but upon 'knowing me' you'd realize i'm really not.

speaking of 'not a girly girl' i guess i'm more meaning that from all said reasons above. where i AM fitting of that category lies in the following...
i would honestly love to go camping outdoors in a tent in a sleeping bag on the ground -lol- HOWEVER b/c of the 'never leaving home without make-up on' and my lack of a desire to be outdoors vulnerable while sleeping amongst critters i'm unaware of, i will admit i AM a hotel girl- and That I will remain proud of- mom to boys or not! 

and a contradiction i'm now Pursuing... owning my own business! lol. seriously while in college professors always asked us, 'who here wants to own their own design business one day'? mine was NEVER a hand that went up. i worked for small companies, i saw first hand what owners went thru and in no way did i want that responsibility! HOWEVER... now as many know, my sister and i are in hot pursuit of opening a coffee lounge here in ol' southern MD, Sixty-Six Beans. (hopefully that will soon be a post - the update!).

and the last one i'll list will be the shortest... because we all know how that turned out, lol.
i once said "i will never marry joe clark"!

soo... among those contradiction i know there lie many more. i'm sure once i log off my mind will flood with them too. but i guess it all comes down to this -God knows us better than we know ourselves. He has Good plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11) and as long as we're following Him and open to change... change is okay! some areas (of mine) need a little butt kicking b/c i know i shouldn't abandon my hearts desires (ex eating healthier Consistently),other areas just make me-me, but i'm also glad i'm open and flexible to move and change, learn and grow. after all it's all apart of the process and i thank God i've been wrong in so many ways, such as the last contradiction above!

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